The Hate Corner: 300: Rise of an Empire sex scene

TIME FOR SOMETHING NEW!

This is the Hate Corner. Where I get to rant about whatever the fuck I want to rant about.

And this time in the hate corner is the sex scene from 300: Rise of an Empire, the sequel to 300.

So let me get this out of the way first. I thought this movie was alright. It wasn't overly special nor was it terrible. It was your typical action movie with little substance but badass visuals and sub-par acting.

You sir...are a fucking idiot
(image from http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/still/img-300-rise-of-an-empire02.jpg)

Now, the main thing that made me go 'What the hell were they thinking??' in this particular movie was the sex scene between main character Themistocles and main antagonist Artemisia.

Now, I liked Artemisia. Eva Green really made her into a strong villain who was portray well as an insane yet powerful military leader.

This chick is CRAZEH
(image from http://www.calgaryherald.com/entertainment/movie-guide/cms/binary/9588511.jpg)

I can't say the same for Themistocles though. He was probably one of the worst leaders I've seen on screen. I'm certain his historical counter part was just fine, but jesus christ, in Rise of an Empire, he's just got no idea what the hell he's doing.


This becomes incredibly apparent during the sex scene.

So I'm going to talk about the scene right now, if you want to avoid spoilers, just don't read ahead (though I hardly consider this a spoiler). Honestly though, I don't know why you'd be reading this if you wanted to avoid spoilers in such a rich and plentiful narrative of a film. Ha...ha...ha.

Anyways, the sex scene starts because Themistocles is summoned by Artemisia to meet with her on her boat so they can negotiate or what not. Discuss war things.

Themistocles goes 'Aight this can't be THAT bad right? I mean she IS that crazy lady we're fighting. It makes total sense to go alone'

So he does.

What follows is the most confusing thing I have ever seen.

Artemisia basically discusses with Themistocles the possibility of them joining forces so that they can conquer Greece together. She promises him power and riches and all that sort of junk. Themistocles, being the honorable hero that he is, declines.

'Nah man, that wouldn't be right. I would much prefer fighting you and die an honorable death protecting my land'

'Oh, I see how it is. Let's fuck to get our points across'

'Ok!'

And they fuck.

Like seriously. This come out of fucking nowhere. Suddenly, these two arch enemies, these two leaders are having rough sex with each other to get their points acorss.

'NO, CLEARLY I SHOULD NOT JOIN YOU BECAUSE I HAVE MOUNTED YOU SO POWERFULLY'

'AH HA! THAT MAY BE! BUT WATCH AS I FLIP YOU AROUND AND BE ON TOP!'

'OH DEAR GOD NO'

Basically my reaction to this scene
(image from http://blog.webstarworks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/jackie-chan-meme.jpg)

Ok, so that's an over exaggeration. There was just no dialogue there whatsoever. Just the usual moaning and shuffling of items and what not. You know, a sex scene.

After it's all over with, Artemesia is all like
'Well, that was fun! So I take it that by having sex with me, you're going to join me then?'

and Themistocles is all like
'What? No, what gave you that idea? I'm going back to my men and their eight packs.'

Artemisia is not pleased, clearly. She just got turned down post coitus.
'WELL FUCK YOU GUY! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ON THE BATTLEFIELD TOMORROW! YOU'LL SEE!'

Themistocles:
'Tah tah!'

So that was that. But the BEST part comes when Themistocles goes back to camp and debriefs with the rest of the Greek soldiers.

'So what happened? What did she say?'

'Well...guys...She's pissed off. Like unbelievably pissed off'

'Oh man, that's not good...Do you know why she was so pissed?'

'Gee, I have no idea. Women right? ha ha ha. Let's get some rest guys, it;'s going to a hell of a fight tomorrow'

LIKE...

WHAT?!

WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN???

I hated that sex scene.

I thought it was one of the worst sex scenes I have ever seen in my life. It made NO sense, it had absolutely no point in being there. In fact, it even makes Artemisia look like an even more incompetent villain! She could have stabbed Themistocles whenever she wanted and basically win!

GOD DAMN DO I HATE THAT SCENE. IT'S TRASH!!!

Did I mention the epic soundtrack in the background?

Yeah. What the hell.

You know what would have been a better way to bring your points across guys? BY ACTUALLY FIGHTING!

Here's the full scene. You can see just how bad it is.
Sorry for the video quality, it's the only one I can find that contains the dialogue before and after the sex scene.

WARNING: BOOBS